10 Ways to Hide Wine from Your Spouse
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Sometimes you have a really good bottle of wine that you don’t want to share with anyone. Kind of like a snot nosed kid in the sandbox who doesn’t want to share the newest toy.
There. I said it. I love my wife, but sometimes I just don’t want to share. Like the 20 year Tawny port I’m drinking right now. Here’s a few ways to hide wine from your spouse:
10. In your stomach.
9. You know those little wood barrels St. Bernard dogs wear around their necks? Those can hold a full bottle of Pinot Noir.
8. Old desktop computer towers can hold two bottles, but don’t turn ‘em on because they’ll cook the wine
7. “Why is this pillow so hard?”
6. I asked our cat if I could bury a bottle or two in her litter box. I took her blank stare as a yes.
5. Remember on Scooby Doo how you could tilt a book on the book shelf and a secret lab behind the bookcase would appear? Picture that, but a wine cellar.
4. A lawn mower bag can hold an entire case.
3. Baggy MC Hammer pants with carefully placed holsters can hold up to 5 lbs. a leg. The down side is you walk like John Wayne.
2. Hollow out a log in the fireplace. Just don’t forget it’s there.
1. Some humidifiers can hold an entire bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.
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Buy a bottle of cheap wine, remove the label and paste it over the Kosta Browne. Then one night say to her "I'm going over to Bob's house for boys night out. Mind if I take the Two Buck Chuck Merlot?"
Great list!
(This is what I have to do only for chocolate and keeping it away from the kids
).
Any idea when the voting gets shut down?
Hilarious. No one questions me about the Santa hat that's on my counter year round … that hides a bottle of tequila.
Hilarious. No one questions me about the Santa hat that’s on my counter year round … that hides a bottle of tequila.